Since I was very, very wee I have wanted to be a bridesmaid and how much more special to get to be bridesmaid for Rose! We spent a total of 3 years as flatmates and learned a great deal from each other. It was so lovely to send her off into her new chapter as Mrs Williams just a month before she sent me off into my new chapter as Mrs Clokey. In January I made a whistlestop trip down to Lincoln for some girl time. Living so far apart it was really the only opportunity we had for it to be just us. Lots of chat, laughter and veil-trying ensued - it was a great start to a big year!
I've worked with a wee group of adults with additional support needs every Friday morning since not long after I moved back to Glasgow. In February, they performed their adaptation of Macbeth to a packed audience. When I look back at the initial sessions I had with the group, when it was a struggle to get anyone to participate, it is remarkable to think of what they have achieved. Working with this group over a prolonged period of time has been a real example of the positive impact that engagement in arts activity can have for participants and has proven to me that it is absolutely worth the hours of slowly-but-surely workshops. Arts development is coming under fire with the current landscape of funding cuts but this work is important and worth fighting for.
March was a big month for shows. I finished my last two productions of Divided City in North Lanarkshire - a project I had worked on for 15 months. And I also had the joy of my first Harlequin show as Director taking to the stage at Eastwood Park. I have never had quite so much at stake when it comes to a show than with Loserville - Harlequin was where it all really started for me and I owe so much to the club that was such a huge part of my youth. I was petrified of letting folk down but I learned that it is worth taking the risk and putting your neck on the line.
Work has been a fairly constant source of panic and stress in my life over the past number of years, always worrying about whether I will have enough work to get by. For 3 years on the trot I had unsuccessful interviews right a the start of the year and I was feeling so disheartened. In April, I got a phone call from the organisation I had interviewed for at the start of 2015, and I was offered the other half of the job share that I had missed out on. The timing was absolutely perfect and over the months that I have worked with the project I have come to understand that God knows what He is doing and that His plan is definitely, definitely right. The job is maternity cover so I won't be there long-term but I will head into future application processes with a whole new outlook because of what I have learned here.
At the end of May two exciting things happened - I became an Auntie and I had a hen do. The hen do in particular was a big learning experience for me. To begin with I absolutely didn't want one, but the big lesson was to allow myself to savour the moment. It's something I have come back to many times since Mum died and it's about not letting the sore bits of life stop me from experiencing the lovely bits. I was scared that a hen do would just be too painful without Mum there, and my fear of the tears almost let me miss out on a day of being surrounded by important women in my life and having just a rather lovely time celebrating an exciting time in my life. If ever there was a time to need my ladies around me it was then and I am so glad that I was able to be brave enough to go ahead with it.
In June I became a Mrs! There was definitely a while before I met Owen that I thought this would never happen for me. We had such a joyful day and a perfect week away in Arran. All of it reminded me just how faithful our loving God is. He knew the desires of my heart and in the perfect timing he provided. The (very) long wait to meet Owen was entirely worth it because he is so, absolutely perfect for me.
At the beginning of July we finally moved into our wee home. It would not have been my choice to have come back to living in houseshare after our honeymoon but we did it and we got through it and it has made having our own little home all the sweeter. We are so grateful to our friends for allowing us to stay in that month when we were otherwise homeless - they are great and we love them a lot.
For just one short week at the beginning of August I knew I was pregnant. God in His grace has taught me so much through the short season we had with our Grace. Everything feels a wee bit more difficult because we lost her but I would do it all over again because having the knowledge of her growing inside me for a week was better than to have not had her at all.
In September I learned to listen to my body. I have always been one for just ploughing on, but with an over-busy diary and an under-par body it was time to take stock and start thinking about practising a little self care. September was the beginning of making some difficult decisions about letting go of some stuff in order to be able to do the rest of it well. I am definitely still learning on this one and it's not something I find easy, but I am learning to be more discerning in what I choose to say yes to.
I launched my new website in October. With my change of name it was time for a revamp of my online presence as a freelancer. Along with updating my website I began to have some serious thoughts about what kind of work I am looking for and started to revisit some old dreams and plans. I learned that my career is what I make of it and it's time to be proactive in shaping it to what I want it to be.
November was a challenging month. I was already exhausted and so kicking off the month with a 60+ hour work week on perhaps the most stressful tech of my life was not really my idea of fun. But I made it through. I learned that I can withstand immense pressure and great things can come out of major struggles.
My December has been a great way to end the years. In the lead up to Christmas I discovered I can do a whole bunch of things that I didn't know I was capable of. My first Christmas as a Mrs gave me an opportunity to throw myself in at the deep end and attempt lots of new things that under other circumstances I would just have assumed I couldn't manage. I made my first ever Christmas Cake and with it had my first go at using marzipan and royal icing. I made chocolates, Christmas Pudding, mincemeat, shortcrust pastry, marie rose sauce, brandy butter and peppermint slice. That's a lot of firsts in a short space of time. And I've learned not to say "I can't" but to just give it a go.
