7 days!

Well it's now just 7 days until I drive on back to Glasgow to live, not visit, after 5 and a bit years of living in London. Of course, I am slightly terrified about the unknown but I am mostly just really excited!

So to mark 7 days until my return home, here's 7 things that I am really excited about:

1) People understanding when I tell them my name!

I have spent the last 5 years having to put up with constant awkward introductions. I find it's important to nip it in the bud early when someone thinks they've heard my name as Jane or Jean or some other obscure non-Jen variety. But it doesn't make meeting new people very easy, in fact it largely fills me with dread! Here's to being in a place where everybody knows your name (and you're always glad you came!)

2) Theatre

There is a great big heart to Scottish theatre that I have failed to find in London... Please don't read that I'm saying London theatre is heartless, it just hasn't captured my heart in the same way as the work I have seen in the homeland. I am so excited to be back in the city that is home to my all time favourite theatre, the wee gem that is the Citz - love its heart and its heritage and can't wait to see lots of great work there (and hopefully get involved in some of it!). Also excited for the Tron, Platform, Tramway, the Trav and the Lyceum in Edinburgh (which will take no longer to get to than a trip from here up to the Royal Court). The joyous National Theatre of Scotland and some ventures to Dundee, Inverness and Aberdeen. For Scottish Opera, Scottish Ballet... Scottish, Scottish, Scottish. I am bursting with excitement to reconnect with my culture and my heritage and the stories of my people.

3) Rolls and Lorne Sausage

There is no mistaking a PROPER roll and sausage. No counterfeits accepted. I shall start the day with the breakfast of champions, washed down by a nice cold glass of milk. Just like the days of the BACA at Jordanhill. God rest you Toby's and your cheap-as-chips rolls and sausage and wee cartons of "green milk".

4) Seeing more of my family

It's a bit of a given really. With the exception of my brother who lives in Romford, my move will mean lots more family times... And quite likely even Christmas in Glasgow!!! I am so excited to see my gorgeous wee cousins Kirsten and Rebecca growing up and to spend time with my lovely older cousins, for more than a rushed once-every-few-months catch up. I have some amazing people that I have the privilege of being related to and I'm excited to have them as more regular features in my life!

5) My lovely Scottish Friends

The beautiful people who I grew up with! It'll be odd because I've grown up heaps since I moved to London, but I know that I have friends in Glasgow who are friends for life and I'm excited to share life with them again in person and not just over Facebook. The sad side to this is leaving my lovely English friends behind - but just like I have kept solid friendships across 400 miles when I moved down here, I know that we will stay in touch. Proper friendship lasts the distance!

6) Starting a new adventure in the place my heart calls home

I left Glasgow, newly 21 and having only ever lived in one house my whole life. Five years and about 7 addresses later I'm coming home an adult. I've never lived in Glasgow as an adult, so while it's a return to the familiar, it definitely feels like a whole new adventure! I am so excited to see what is around the corner - there's nothing concrete at the moment, so it's a huge big leap of faith, but a leap of faith that is definitely also a homecoming! Watch this space!

7) The beautiful land, it's greenness and its hills

Every time I drive home to visit or I step off the plane in Glasgow the sight of the hills and mountains takes my breath away. I guess you don't always appreciate what's always right in front of you and it has taken going away for me to realise just how beautiful my homeland is. The greens and greys and purples of the landscape settle my soul and even the dreich weather sets my heart at peace. I am determined not to allow myself to take this beautiful land for granted but to make sure I explore it, am thankful for it and allow it to inspire me. Bonnie Scotland, I'm coming to get you!

Left in the Wake of the Practicalities

 

I've been reflecting a lot over the past week on different platforms for sharing or showcasing the work that I make and the importance of finding the correct platform, not just for the story but also the group who are telling it.

One of the projects I have been working on over the past few months is Saints' Youth Theatre. The group consists of 11 girls aged between 10 and 13, many of whom have very little experience of performing. It has been such a massive privilege to work with these girls over two terms and to witness, and I hope have some part in, their blossoming into more confident young women. Every week I have had the honour of working with these imaginative and creative girls as we have explored the idea of what it might mean to be left in the wake of the world.

One of my MA tutors, John Adams, said often last year that every project is about "what you can do in the time for the money". I can't help but feel as I reflect on this project that my ambitions of what I could do in the time were a little high. Not because the girls were not all talented and enthusiastic collaborators and performers, but because there just was not the time for the scope of the task.

That is not to say that what we achieved was a failure. But I have come to question the platform on which the work the girls had accomplished was shared. In just 42 hours of youth theatre sessions the group journeyed from a title and a collection of pictures of the London 2012 Olympics to a 24 page script that explored what happened when a young girl woke to find herself 100 years out of her time, in a world that looked very different to the world she fell asleep in.

The concept and story that the group constructed was incredibly impressive and their commitment to the story was unlike anything I have witnessed in my six years of leading devising projects with young people. In many ways, this is one of the most successful devising projects that I have ever led. But I have a nagging fear in the back of my mind that the platform on which the girls shared their work did them a disservice.

The performance was to take place in All Saints' Church - a large building that seats around 300-400 people and where anyone speaking from the front uses a microphone. While we expected nowhere near those numbers in the audience, it seemed to me that if the clergy would not speak un-amplified from the front of the church, how could we expect the voice of an 11 year old girl to carry in this cavernous space?

I got so fixed on this dilemma that in my mind the only way forward was to make sure the girls were miked up. In hindsight, this was a huge mistake on my part. I got so caught up in the need for the girls to be heard from the front and making sure that they didn't perform to an audience that, in the size of the church, looked empty. I allowed the scope of the practical "problems" stop me from being creative in finding solutions.

This week, we are running an interactive promenade performance of the Easter story, told through the eyes of Peter, for the local primary school. And with the unexpected late-march cold spell I've again been faced with this question of the most suitable platform. Around half of the performance was planned to be outdoors, but with windchill taking temperatures down to an icy -6 decisions had to be made on whether to re-think some of the locations.

And so our perfectly set hillside of the crucifixion had to be sacrificed for an indoor alternative. It has undoubtedly been the best solution, despite losing some of the aesthetic, because the children are warm enough to be able to concentrate on the story playing out before them and the interaction need not be rushed in order to get back into the warmth.

It has been in the relocation of this scene that I have spotted an alternative solution for last week's youth theatre performance. It had not occurred to me to section off a smaller area of the church for the performance, but standing watching the hillside scene played in front of a black cloth at the back of the church has unveiled the other option that I missed for the Youth Theatre. This smaller, more intimate setting within the church would have allowed the girls to speak without microphones and would have allowed us to keep the audience to friends and family, with the space looking busy without being overwhelming for the girls.

I believe in this setting the girls would have had less to contend with in the sharing of their work. It would have allowed them to relax. They wouldn't have had to deal with hearing their voices amplified for the first time and the feedback from the mics that was the result of not being able to properly tech with the microphones due to the cost of hiring them in. Therein lies a learning point in itself - a proper technical rehearsal is non-negotiable. By John's rule, therefore, microphones couldn't be done for the money as we couldn't afford more than one day hire. If I had caught on to this truth, perhaps I would have dared to find the more creative solution.

But all is not lost. The girls were as high as kites after the performance and the feedback from the parents has been very positive. All I can do now is reflect and learn from the process and use what I have learned to inform my future work. So, to sum up, what have I learned?

• Finding the most appropriate setting for the group is so important. "The best" for a group may not be the all-bells-and-whistles solution, it could be a much more informal sharing of work in a more relaxed atmosphere. The question has to be "which platform will allow this group to most effectively share their work in the most empowering way?"

• Tech is non-negotiable. If lights and sound are being used, both the cast and the operator must have a chance to run it through. If you can't afford to tech then you can't afford to use lights and sound. This feels especially important in a community-setting.

• Always push to find the "other option", even if it is discarded - best to have explored all the options and written them off than to get stuck on only one possibility.

London, you lied to me (spoken word)

 

The big news in the last few weeks has been that I am going to be moving back home to Glasgow at the beginning of April. It's a decision that I have been wrestling with for 6 months and part of my difficulty in taking the leap was due to a false perception that I had picked up that told me I had no prospects outside of London and that I would be going backwards.

This notion inspired me to write the poem London, you lied to me. I want to just make it clear that I hold no animosity towards London, this is purely an expression of the struggle I had to allow myself to consider leaving.

It's my first recorded spoken word piece, so I'd love to hear your thoughts!