Renewed Perspective

I did something a little bit mental this weekend. On Friday morning I booked flights to go down to London for the weekend and later, after a twelve hour working day, packed a rucksack ready to fly down to London on Saturday morning.

It's been six and a half months since I moved back to Glasgow and it was the end of June the last time I went down to visit. As my last few posts have suggested, over the last wee while I've been struggling with fear and letting the day-to-day realities of life get on top of me a little. I've been fixating on questions about what's next, and I've been giving myself a hard time about pretty much everything. I needed to spend some time with the people who know me best. The ones who wouldn't think twice about setting me straight on my skewed perspective. The ones whose words of correction don't sting because I know they love me unconditionally.

I couldn't help feeling as I boarded the plane on Saturday morning that it was going to be incredibly difficult to leave London on Monday evening. And I spent the majority of the flight thinking about looking for jobs that could move me back there permanently.

But it's amazing how quickly all of that dissipated. Hearing the story of my last 6 months relayed back to me from a number of my friends brought wonder and excitement flooding back. It was like I spent my time over the weekend plugged in to charge and with every conversation I was refuelling. My perspective was pulled back into line as people reminded me over and over how far God has brought me, out of a dark valley and into a new place. I think that I am still definitely climbing this particular hill, so I can't fully see the view that the last year has been working towards, but I have been reminded that the view is coming. It's always so much easier to make sense of the climb when we know what we were climbing towards. But I've been reminded to trust Him even though I am blind to what the future holds.

It was so great to be back at All Saints on Sunday worshipping with my family there but it absolutely confirmed for me that it is right that that is no longer where I am. It doesn't make the people there any less my family, and it was great to pick up where I left off with so many folk. But my place is most definitely in Glasgow. It turned out not to be so difficult to get on the plane on Monday night.

I feel like I have come back changed.

Renewed.

My perspective is much more healthy and it's having a positive effect on my work, my productivity, my creativity and my efficiency. I know that I am where I am meant to be and I am going to make the most of every moment and every opportunity.

This morning it was a huge battle to get out of my bed but as I chose again and again to be thankful and to be positive, negativity couldn't keep a hold of me.

It all comes down to love. The love of my friends and the overwhelming love of God that I experienced afresh as the Holy Spirit rested heavily on me on Sunday evening. At the time I was aware that God was doing something in my heart but I couldn't have defined what. My attitude today has been so vastly different to my attitude over the last number of weeks that I can only deduce that there's a connection.

And anyway, isn't it a biblical truth that perfect love casts out all fear?

This weekend God has showered me with His perfect love through the Holy Spirit and through His church.

So maybe my last minute trip wasn't quite so much mental as prompted by the Holy Spirit...